teases & kisses: relationship

, by Unknown

couple

do you believe in love at first sight?

kie says:

I don't. Period.

t says:

I don't too. Exclamation point.

kie says:

For me, love does not occur the moment you see this beautiful creature with a charming smile. Love does not happen the moment your eyes meet after you both slip on the floor and you fall (literally) on each other. Nor does it happen when bump into him while walking mindlessly in a busy street. I do not consider it love. I call it attraction. When you blush, when your heart races, that's attraction.

t says:

If you mean a different thing when you say "love at first sight," then maybe I would believe in it. If you mean: when you have fully known your partner, seeing for the first time the real person beyond the physical appearance, seeing and realizing for the first time that you are like a "lock and key" combination. Then that for me is love at first sight.

kie says:

for me, love is something more than attraction. yes, it may begin with attraction, but it is not yet love in the first place. love comes after attraction, after you have known him and you feel there is something more than that. love is a choice, it is a commitment, that even after physical attraction fades, you still want to be with the person, you still want the best for him, and you still want his happiness. love is a higher form of attraction, something more pure and more noble, that sometimes, it may also include sacrifice.

t says:

As we stated in the previous blog post: why do you love your spouse. Loving is not just because of what a person can do for you, nor is it just because who the person is, but it should be because who you both become when you are together. There should be growth, sacrifice, compromise, a give and take relationship. And there is no chance for that to happen in a "love at first sight" experience.

we say:

love is more than physical or emotional attraction. it is even more than just a feeling. we love this definition of love in marriage:

"love is not just a feeling or emotion, it is the choice you make everyday, to dote this one and only person everyday. and it is a decision you make everyday - every single day."

attraction, however, is an essential part of a relationship. you need to stay attracted to your spouse (and only your spouse) to stay in love. you need to find ways to keep the attraction. if you do believe in love at first sight, then it must be love when you wake up each day, when the first thing (person) you see is your spouse beside you.

No comments

, by Unknown

couple

fun things to do to keep the relationship alive

kie says:

There will be times when the relationship seems stagnating, or dry, everything is the usual, nothing new. Your partner might be feeling the same too, and is also waiting for you to make your superhero(ine) moves. This is the time when you should be doing something. Be the ignition to keep the flame burning. He is sure to return the effort (hopefully).

t says:

To make the relationship work, there is work to done. After all the hunting and playing "hard-to-get" during courtship and in engagement, all the thrill and romantic excitement may fade after the sweet "yes." Relationship is just like maintaining a garden. No matter how beautiful it gets, you still have to take care of the garden. So is true with your relationships.

we say:

you don't have to look so far for ideas, or go and empty out your bank accounts.

we have listed a few stuffs to keep the ball rolling.

1. travel! go out, get out. if plans and itineraries don't work, be spontaneous and adventurous. it doesn't have to be out of the country, you may actually explore the areas around you, maybe go to a park or a zoo. it doesn't have to be prim and proper, you just have to have fun!

2. write random post its and place in strategic areas - on the mirror, when he/she opens the laptop, inside a wallet or anywhere that will surprise your partner.

3. write love letters - doesn't have to be very formal. Be creative. Long love letters can be very sweet.

4. bring him/her something not the usual - a flower you picked up somewhere, a tissue from a restuarant with a love note on it, anything not the usual

5. go out on a date on a weekday

6. have a picnic or fly a kite

7. go stargazing in the rooftop

8. play a board or card game with a twist, like the loser gets a powder stripe in the face - this is really fun!

9. take a lot of selfies or record a video together - like dancing or singing together.

10. open your memory box together. I'm pretty sure almost all of us have memory boxes that contain our previous love letters, gifts and all. It's really fun reliving the good feeling of being in love.

and many more...

You see, love is meant to be fun and amazing. And to keep the relationship alive, keep the fire of love burning.

No comments

, by Unknown

communication

a relationship tool: evaluation

1 comments

, by Teof

gifts

love language: receiving gifts

No comments

, by Unknown

love language

love language: acts of service

No comments

, by Unknown

communication

a relationship tool: B.A.G.

No comments

, by Unknown

appreciation

a compilation of sweet nothings

No comments

, by Teof

couple

why you'll never really end up with your ideal partner

No comments

, by Teof

appreciation

understanding the power of appreciation

No comments

, by Teof

communication

the three words: say it or do it?

Kie says:

Relationships, in general, need words. Some may argue that actions speak louder than words but according to poet Khalil Gibran in his book The Prophet "For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed." You don't expect anything to be interpreted or read the right way, there has to be words, but don't skimp on actions either.

T says:

Actions would give your partner hints. But your words will confirm them. Just like when you are courting, you don't say "I love you" right away, you first give her hints. Like: giving her your best smile (with matching blinking eyes if you can dare), treat her to dinner (most likely including her friends) and taking her home (hopefully no father is waiting at the front door). And when she responds positively, then BOOM: say it and she's yours.

These things do not end in courting and dating. It still applies even in marriage. The deeds make you feel loved but the words blow your mind and heart out. When your wife is cooking, hug her from behind and she'll feel loved. Whisper to her you love her and she'll best a 5-star chef. Never fall for the trap of being good at words without the deeds or being just a silent lover. The three magic words should come in both words and deeds. That' why it's called magic.

Kie says:

I love hearing and saying "I love you" everyday, or whenever i feel like it. It's like a reminder, though you know you don't need reminding. it's a pick-me-up when you are stressed or in a bad mood, it's a ray of light in a cloudy day, it's a warm hug even when he is not beside you right now, it's a cheer for you to go jump up the hurdles of the day, it's a good medicine to cure your hurts and doubts - it's a lot of things.

We say:

Our answer for the title question: BOTH. Why do you have to choose one when you can do both? Make it a habit to say, or leave a note, or send an SMS to your partner. Make "I love you" the first thing you say to your partner in the morning and the last thing you say in the evening. The way you say it does not have to be fancy - it just has to be sincere.

"I love you" is the first of the 3 phrases you need to say a lot to your partner. The other two, which are equally important, are "Thank you" and "I'm sorry" (which will be discussed on a separate post). These three are your mantra and bloodline - do not forget them.

Say I love you every day. Say it many times a day. And mean it. Put down your gadget and say it now. NOW.

No comments

, by Unknown

love

how to speak love to your partner

Kie says:

Every girl must have dreamt of having a knight sweep her off her feet, pull her up to his horse and carry her to his kingdom - oh, knight in shining armor, your princess eagerly awaits. You want to thank him for the rescue so you: (a) say "thank you", obviously and compliment him for having groomed his horse well; (b) hug him real tight, as tight as you could squeeze his cold armor; (c) give him a little thank-you gift, perhaps a tassel for his sword; (d) volunteer to brush his horse's tail; or (e) watch him eat and listen to his never-ending warrior stories. I wonder which he would like best. You could go all tops and give them all, but he would most likely get your message from only one of those. That my friend, is his love language. And that's how you are supposed to "speak" to him from this day on. So you could then live happily ever after.

T says:

Expressing love may differ from one person to another. Saying the 3 magic words may mean the whole world to a person but not to another. A hug or a gentle kiss on the forehead may put your partner into a happy mood but another may appreciate it if one receives a flower. Every person speaks a certain love language. Getting to know your partner better not only involves understanding his/her character, moods, behavior or attitude but also understanding how one receives your expression of "love." There are 5 known love languages that you can use to speak "love" to your partner: words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, gift-giving and quality time. Being able to understand and speak these love languages will help not only rescue your princess from a fire-breathing dragon but it also guarantees that your princess will be forever grateful to be rescued by you (and not by another knight.)

We say:

Love languages were introduced to us by Gary Chapman, in his book "The 5 Love Languages". He defined all these languages and how each one can be communicated. We are lucky to have been speaking the same love language all the while. So it was not very difficult to us to speak to each other. You and your partner can take the test (no cheating!) online here. It helped us understand ourselves and each other more.