teases & kisses: love language

do you believe in love at first sight?

kie says:

I don't. Period.

t says:

I don't too. Exclamation point.

kie says:

For me, love does not occur the moment you see this beautiful creature with a charming smile. Love does not happen the moment your eyes meet after you both slip on the floor and you fall (literally) on each other. Nor does it happen when bump into him while walking mindlessly in a busy street. I do not consider it love. I call it attraction. When you blush, when your heart races, that's attraction.

t says:

If you mean a different thing when you say "love at first sight," then maybe I would believe in it. If you mean: when you have fully known your partner, seeing for the first time the real person beyond the physical appearance, seeing and realizing for the first time that you are like a "lock and key" combination. Then that for me is love at first sight.

kie says:

for me, love is something more than attraction. yes, it may begin with attraction, but it is not yet love in the first place. love comes after attraction, after you have known him and you feel there is something more than that. love is a choice, it is a commitment, that even after physical attraction fades, you still want to be with the person, you still want the best for him, and you still want his happiness. love is a higher form of attraction, something more pure and more noble, that sometimes, it may also include sacrifice.

t says:

As we stated in the previous blog post: why do you love your spouse. Loving is not just because of what a person can do for you, nor is it just because who the person is, but it should be because who you both become when you are together. There should be growth, sacrifice, compromise, a give and take relationship. And there is no chance for that to happen in a "love at first sight" experience.

we say:

love is more than physical or emotional attraction. it is even more than just a feeling. we love this definition of love in marriage:

"love is not just a feeling or emotion, it is the choice you make everyday, to dote this one and only person everyday. and it is a decision you make everyday - every single day."

attraction, however, is an essential part of a relationship. you need to stay attracted to your spouse (and only your spouse) to stay in love. you need to find ways to keep the attraction. if you do believe in love at first sight, then it must be love when you wake up each day, when the first thing (person) you see is your spouse beside you.

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, by Unknown

communication

how to make the relationship work

T says:

From the title itself, there is work to be done in making the relationship work. There are a lot of books and articles out there stating that men are this and that while women are that and this. And the typical advise is to settle and understand each other. However, in the real world, you got to meet half-way.

Kie says:

Relationships do not always mean compromise. Although, yes, it may sometimes be that way, sometimes it is an i-win-today-and-you-win-tomorrow or it's a win-win situation. The thing is that you both agree on what you decide on. It is never that women are always right (we are most of the time, though, haha).

T says:

It has always been a struggle for me to be expressive as most men, if not all, do. But to have a great relationship, communication should be the foundation. I remember one wedding reception when the godfather gave advice to the newly wed couple:

"three secrets in a great relationship: communication, communication, communication."

That's how important it is that it stuck to my subconscious.

Kie says:

Communication does not come only in the form of words - most come in unspoken words and actions. Truly, there is no other way to understand the other specie without communicating. I mean, how can you tell him you are interested if you can't even wink? Communication is very crucial especially in the earlier parts of he relationship (and marriage) since you've got a lot of adjusting to do.

We say:

To achieve anything in life, we need to work for it. To be physically healthy, we need to exercise and have proper diet. To be financially free, we need to save and invest. To be spiritually blessed, we need to nurture our faith and share the blessings to others. And to have a great relationship, communication should be the foundation.

When there is communication, there is understanding. When there is understanding, there is acceptance and willingness to change. And when there is acceptance and willingness to change, there is an amazing relationship.

The tools that we use:

1. To communicate effectively - learn how to properly dialogue and handle arguments

2. Understanding each other - learn individual's temperament and love language

3. Acceptance and willingness to change - respond in respect to your partner's personality and love language. Fill each other's love tank.

4. Amazing relationship - monitor through evaluation and continue to appreciate the relationship and each other through B.A.G. - blessings, achievements and goals.

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, by Teof

communication

how to write a love letter

kie says:

love letter writing may have lost its medal of honor because of technology. couples nowadays spend more time with digital notes, from personal messages in social media, a quick snap chat, emails, electronic cards, and SMS. gone were the days of mr. postman. only a few bookstores in the country sell postcards or greeting cards. and it's now hard to look for the sweet-smelling stationery we traded way back in elementary.

t says:

looking for courting advice? love letters! it is old-schooled, takes effort and creativity, sincere and most importantly, it works! If you want an edge to your competitors, this is the weapon! It's just economics, law of supply and demand. How many guys do you know who actually write love letters? I bet there are a few. And how many women do actually want to have one? A lot!

kie says:

dear ate charo... it doesn't have to start that way always. you could always start with "hey you" or "dodong!" i don't usually start my notes with salutation, i just go directly to the point. haha. i love to write short love notes on post-its so he can find it in unusual places. i scribble in multiple-colored pens and draw mini stuffs. it doesn't have to be long, it just have to be sweet. plus, i see to it that i write the date (since my husband is more sentimental than i am, he keeps them all), and so he can track when this letter was born.

t says:

the most important thing in a love letter is it has be sincere. nothing more. it does not have to contain flowery words nor does it have to be formal, just be you. consider it an important step in becoming expressive because you need to become one sooner or later. I will be a little direct to all the guys out there, you need to learn how to express. (I know most of us aren't.) and writing love letters will be a good start.

kie:

i am honestly more of a writer than a talker. if i need to express something serious, i'd prefer writing it down so i don't miss out anything. i also feel i can pour my heart out more than talking it out loud. so writing a love letter? bring it on!

i admit i am a sucker for love letters as well. i love long love letters that are sweet and sincere, and i also love random little notes. they are small beads of sunshine to bring cheer to my day. most of all, i love it when my husband writes me one when i least expect it, or randomly, when there is no real occasion. it feeds my love tank so well.

t says:

you can start writing one right now! Want an example?

"Dear kie, today is another amazing day. We had such a thrilling start of the day. I'm always glad to be of service to you. Hope you had a great day at work as I also am. Looking forward seeing you tonight and you reading this." -06/27/2016

As simple as that. You can write it in post-its, small notes, formal cards, or even in blog posts. The real joy in writing love letters is not in the writing, but is in her expression upon reading it: those blushing cheeks, those smiles or teary eyes of joy. It's priceless.

we say:

we believe that love letter writing is a necessary part of a relationship. It's not just a way of communicating, but another way of speaking your partner's love language thus filling her/his love tank. For people whose love languages are gifts and words of affirmation, a love letter is the best. For people whose love language is quality time, writing a previous quality experience with your partner can relive the feeling. For people whose love language is physical touch, you can write: "can't wait to see you later." It builds excitement. And for people whose love language is acts of service, you can amplify the feeling by writing a note like: "I want you to have amazing energy throughout the day, so I prepared your favorite lunch."

there's no actual rule in writing a love letter. anything sweet, sincere, caring, thoughtful or even fun will do. be creative.

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, by Unknown

communication

3 secrets to a great relationship

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, by Teof

communication

love language: quality time

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, by Unknown

gifts

love language: receiving gifts

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, by Unknown

love

love language: physical touch

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, by Teof

love language

love language: acts of service

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, by Unknown

appreciation

love language: words of affirmation

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, by Teof

love

how to speak love to your partner

Kie says:

Every girl must have dreamt of having a knight sweep her off her feet, pull her up to his horse and carry her to his kingdom - oh, knight in shining armor, your princess eagerly awaits. You want to thank him for the rescue so you: (a) say "thank you", obviously and compliment him for having groomed his horse well; (b) hug him real tight, as tight as you could squeeze his cold armor; (c) give him a little thank-you gift, perhaps a tassel for his sword; (d) volunteer to brush his horse's tail; or (e) watch him eat and listen to his never-ending warrior stories. I wonder which he would like best. You could go all tops and give them all, but he would most likely get your message from only one of those. That my friend, is his love language. And that's how you are supposed to "speak" to him from this day on. So you could then live happily ever after.

T says:

Expressing love may differ from one person to another. Saying the 3 magic words may mean the whole world to a person but not to another. A hug or a gentle kiss on the forehead may put your partner into a happy mood but another may appreciate it if one receives a flower. Every person speaks a certain love language. Getting to know your partner better not only involves understanding his/her character, moods, behavior or attitude but also understanding how one receives your expression of "love." There are 5 known love languages that you can use to speak "love" to your partner: words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, gift-giving and quality time. Being able to understand and speak these love languages will help not only rescue your princess from a fire-breathing dragon but it also guarantees that your princess will be forever grateful to be rescued by you (and not by another knight.)

We say:

Love languages were introduced to us by Gary Chapman, in his book "The 5 Love Languages". He defined all these languages and how each one can be communicated. We are lucky to have been speaking the same love language all the while. So it was not very difficult to us to speak to each other. You and your partner can take the test (no cheating!) online here. It helped us understand ourselves and each other more.

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, by Teof

Pages

do you believe in love at first sight?

how to make the relationship work

how to write a love letter

3 secrets to a great relationship

love language: quality time

love language: receiving gifts

love language: physical touch

love language: acts of service

love language: words of affirmation

how to speak love to your partner

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