the only thing that will last in a relationship


one thing that will make the relationship last
T says: Men are never good in expressing their feelings. I know that because I am not really into it. I have always been the listener type. I love listening to other people’s problems as I give comfort to them and that’s why my girl friends (space intended) love to talk to me.

But that changed when I got into a relationship. My pretty frank girlfriend (now my wife), isn’t a big fan of silent treatment. Every argument must be expressed openly and fully, else, it will give her a mind-blowing, over-thinking and connect-the-dots-of-unrelated-events issue. And that I tell you, it is something no man will like.

Learning to communicate and being able to express your feelings well is a decision. And if I wanted this relationship to work (I’d say it worked pretty as we end up married after 7 years), then communication is the key.

Kie says: Women love to talk – a lot. We want men to listen. But we want men to talk too! I couldn’t imagine myself talking to someone without something to say for himself too. My was-boyfriend was a friend to every girl classmate. He asks a lot and encourages you to talk.

When we got into a relationship, I didn’t want the talk to be all mine. I needed to hear his thoughts and feelings. It was hard getting him to talk, at first but eventually he did. He understood that if he doesn’t talk, I end up over thinking – and that’s a very sticky thing. He doesn’t have to talk like a girl, I don’t want that either. I want to hear him to understand him, as much as he wants to listen to my rants and raves.

We are not mind readers, we cannot define actions accurately without words. Communication led us to understand each other more, minimize arguments, it builds trust and connects us. I say it’s the most basic foundation of any type of relationship.

We say: From one of the talks we had, the speaker said:

Choose someone you enjoy talking with, because in the end, when our hairs are gray and our skins sag, only one thing will be left: good talks.

When you think about it, it’s very logical. When it’s the sunset of our lives, we sit by the porch in our rocking chairs, drink coffee and look at the sky, we talk. We remember how things started out when we were just starting out, how we built our family, how the kids have grown, how great life was. If you aren’t talking much with your partner right now, please start now. It’s never too late. Say your feelings, speak your thoughts, speak with love and truth. If it is hard to begin, talk about anything – like how your day went and your plans for your family. Then slowly evolve into talking about how you feel and the things you appreciate in your partner. You’ll be amazed how things will improve.

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