the only thing that will last in a relationship
2/08/2016
But
that changed when I got into a relationship. My pretty frank girlfriend (now my
wife), isn’t a big fan of silent treatment. Every argument must be expressed
openly and fully, else, it will give her a mind-blowing, over-thinking and
connect-the-dots-of-unrelated-events issue. And that I tell you, it is
something no man will like.
Learning
to communicate and being able to express your feelings well is a decision. And
if I wanted this relationship to work (I’d say it worked pretty as we end up
married after 7 years), then communication is the key.
Kie says: Women love to talk – a lot. We want
men to listen. But we want men to talk too! I couldn’t imagine myself talking
to someone without something to say for himself too. My was-boyfriend was a
friend to every girl classmate. He asks a lot and encourages you to talk.
When
we got into a relationship, I didn’t want the talk to be all mine. I needed to
hear his thoughts and feelings. It was hard getting him to talk, at first but
eventually he did. He understood that if he doesn’t talk, I end up over
thinking – and that’s a very sticky thing. He doesn’t have to talk like a girl,
I don’t want that either. I want to hear him to understand him, as much as he
wants to listen to my rants and raves.
We
are not mind readers, we cannot define actions accurately without words.
Communication led us to understand each other more, minimize arguments, it
builds trust and connects us. I say it’s the most basic foundation of any type
of relationship.
We say: From one of the talks we had, the
speaker said:
Choose someone you enjoy talking with, because in the end, when our hairs are gray and our skins sag, only one thing will be left: good talks.
When
you think about it, it’s very logical. When it’s the sunset of our lives, we
sit by the porch in our rocking chairs, drink coffee and look at the sky, we
talk. We remember how things started out when we were just starting out, how we
built our family, how the kids have grown, how great life was. If you aren’t talking
much with your partner right now, please start now. It’s never too late. Say
your feelings, speak your thoughts, speak with love and truth. If it is hard to
begin, talk about anything – like how your day went and your plans for your
family. Then slowly evolve into talking about how you feel and the things you
appreciate in your partner. You’ll be amazed how things will improve.
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