2016 - teases & kisses

how to attract the partner of your life

, by Unknown

do you believe in love at first sight?

kie says:

I don't. Period.

t says:

I don't too. Exclamation point.

kie says:

For me, love does not occur the moment you see this beautiful creature with a charming smile. Love does not happen the moment your eyes meet after you both slip on the floor and you fall (literally) on each other. Nor does it happen when bump into him while walking mindlessly in a busy street. I do not consider it love. I call it attraction. When you blush, when your heart races, that's attraction.

t says:

If you mean a different thing when you say "love at first sight," then maybe I would believe in it. If you mean: when you have fully known your partner, seeing for the first time the real person beyond the physical appearance, seeing and realizing for the first time that you are like a "lock and key" combination. Then that for me is love at first sight.

kie says:

for me, love is something more than attraction. yes, it may begin with attraction, but it is not yet love in the first place. love comes after attraction, after you have known him and you feel there is something more than that. love is a choice, it is a commitment, that even after physical attraction fades, you still want to be with the person, you still want the best for him, and you still want his happiness. love is a higher form of attraction, something more pure and more noble, that sometimes, it may also include sacrifice.

t says:

As we stated in the previous blog post: why do you love your spouse. Loving is not just because of what a person can do for you, nor is it just because who the person is, but it should be because who you both become when you are together. There should be growth, sacrifice, compromise, a give and take relationship. And there is no chance for that to happen in a "love at first sight" experience.

we say:

love is more than physical or emotional attraction. it is even more than just a feeling. we love this definition of love in marriage:

"love is not just a feeling or emotion, it is the choice you make everyday, to dote this one and only person everyday. and it is a decision you make everyday - every single day."

attraction, however, is an essential part of a relationship. you need to stay attracted to your spouse (and only your spouse) to stay in love. you need to find ways to keep the attraction. if you do believe in love at first sight, then it must be love when you wake up each day, when the first thing (person) you see is your spouse beside you.

, by Unknown

why do you love your spouse?

T says:

I love my wife for what she does for me. I love the way she takes care of me when I'm sick, how she reminds me of important tasks and schedules, how she packs my bags for travel, or when she cooks me amazing meals or basically doing everything for me while I'm playing my guitar. That's what you call passive income. Hehe kidding aside, I love and appreciate all the little and BIG things she does for me. And that's why I love her.

Kie says:

I love my husband for being himself. I love the way he effortlessly make me laugh, listens to my rants and raves without biases, appreciates what I do, and fills my love tank through quality time and words of affirmation. He supports my dreams and encourages me to go for it.

T says:
I love my wife "not just" for what she can do, but for who she is. I love her strong-willed attitude. She knows what she wants and gets what she wants (that's her asset and kinda a liability when we are talking about arguments. hehe but let's not deal with that today.) A woman with values and high respect for herself. I love how sweet, thoughtful and how caring she is. She's not just beautiful outside but amazingly beautiful too, inside. (what a package!) And that's why I love her.

Kie says:
I love my husband for who he is. I am proud that he is a God-fearing man. He knows his dreams and passionately works for it. He is a visionary who can make a plan and work for long-term goals. He is honest and confident. He values family and relationships. He has respect for commitments and decisions. He is patient, sweet and thoughtful. He's a good-looking man and he's damn smart.

Related Content: A compilation of sweet nothings

T says:
I love my wife "not just" for who she is but who we are when we are together. The things we do together, the goals and dreams we set and the growth we have because of this relationship. And that's why I love her.

Kie says:
I love my husband not just for who he is or what he does for me, but also because of our synergy. Together, we make a great team.

We say:
There are a lot of definitions about love. And so are a lot of reasons for loving someone. But for us, it is about GROWTH. Love is never one-sided. It should benefit both. It is symbiosis, not parasitism.

Remember: If we are not growing, then we are dying and in loving, there should be continuous growth. If you are in a relationship that does not make you grow, tell your spouse. Communicate. Fight for it. But when all else fails, get out of it. Even if you are already in a relationship for some time, your growth should not stop.

, by Teof

how to make the relationship work

T says:

From the title itself, there is work to be done in making the relationship work. There are a lot of books and articles out there stating that men are this and that while women are that and this. And the typical advise is to settle and understand each other. However, in the real world, you got to meet half-way.

Kie says:

Relationships do not always mean compromise. Although, yes, it may sometimes be that way, sometimes it is an i-win-today-and-you-win-tomorrow or it's a win-win situation. The thing is that you both agree on what you decide on. It is never that women are always right (we are most of the time, though, haha).

T says:

It has always been a struggle for me to be expressive as most men, if not all, do. But to have a great relationship, communication should be the foundation. I remember one wedding reception when the godfather gave advice to the newly wed couple:

"three secrets in a great relationship: communication, communication, communication."

That's how important it is that it stuck to my subconscious.

Kie says:

Communication does not come only in the form of words - most come in unspoken words and actions. Truly, there is no other way to understand the other specie without communicating. I mean, how can you tell him you are interested if you can't even wink? Communication is very crucial especially in the earlier parts of he relationship (and marriage) since you've got a lot of adjusting to do.

We say:

To achieve anything in life, we need to work for it. To be physically healthy, we need to exercise and have proper diet. To be financially free, we need to save and invest. To be spiritually blessed, we need to nurture our faith and share the blessings to others. And to have a great relationship, communication should be the foundation.

When there is communication, there is understanding. When there is understanding, there is acceptance and willingness to change. And when there is acceptance and willingness to change, there is an amazing relationship.

The tools that we use:

1. To communicate effectively - learn how to properly dialogue and handle arguments

2. Understanding each other - learn individual's temperament and love language

3. Acceptance and willingness to change - respond in respect to your partner's personality and love language. Fill each other's love tank.

4. Amazing relationship - monitor through evaluation and continue to appreciate the relationship and each other through B.A.G. - blessings, achievements and goals.

, by Teof

how to write a love letter

kie says:

love letter writing may have lost its medal of honor because of technology. couples nowadays spend more time with digital notes, from personal messages in social media, a quick snap chat, emails, electronic cards, and SMS. gone were the days of mr. postman. only a few bookstores in the country sell postcards or greeting cards. and it's now hard to look for the sweet-smelling stationery we traded way back in elementary.

t says:

looking for courting advice? love letters! it is old-schooled, takes effort and creativity, sincere and most importantly, it works! If you want an edge to your competitors, this is the weapon! It's just economics, law of supply and demand. How many guys do you know who actually write love letters? I bet there are a few. And how many women do actually want to have one? A lot!

kie says:

dear ate charo... it doesn't have to start that way always. you could always start with "hey you" or "dodong!" i don't usually start my notes with salutation, i just go directly to the point. haha. i love to write short love notes on post-its so he can find it in unusual places. i scribble in multiple-colored pens and draw mini stuffs. it doesn't have to be long, it just have to be sweet. plus, i see to it that i write the date (since my husband is more sentimental than i am, he keeps them all), and so he can track when this letter was born.

t says:

the most important thing in a love letter is it has be sincere. nothing more. it does not have to contain flowery words nor does it have to be formal, just be you. consider it an important step in becoming expressive because you need to become one sooner or later. I will be a little direct to all the guys out there, you need to learn how to express. (I know most of us aren't.) and writing love letters will be a good start.

kie:

i am honestly more of a writer than a talker. if i need to express something serious, i'd prefer writing it down so i don't miss out anything. i also feel i can pour my heart out more than talking it out loud. so writing a love letter? bring it on!

i admit i am a sucker for love letters as well. i love long love letters that are sweet and sincere, and i also love random little notes. they are small beads of sunshine to bring cheer to my day. most of all, i love it when my husband writes me one when i least expect it, or randomly, when there is no real occasion. it feeds my love tank so well.

t says:

you can start writing one right now! Want an example?

"Dear kie, today is another amazing day. We had such a thrilling start of the day. I'm always glad to be of service to you. Hope you had a great day at work as I also am. Looking forward seeing you tonight and you reading this." -06/27/2016

As simple as that. You can write it in post-its, small notes, formal cards, or even in blog posts. The real joy in writing love letters is not in the writing, but is in her expression upon reading it: those blushing cheeks, those smiles or teary eyes of joy. It's priceless.

we say:

we believe that love letter writing is a necessary part of a relationship. It's not just a way of communicating, but another way of speaking your partner's love language thus filling her/his love tank. For people whose love languages are gifts and words of affirmation, a love letter is the best. For people whose love language is quality time, writing a previous quality experience with your partner can relive the feeling. For people whose love language is physical touch, you can write: "can't wait to see you later." It builds excitement. And for people whose love language is acts of service, you can amplify the feeling by writing a note like: "I want you to have amazing energy throughout the day, so I prepared your favorite lunch."

there's no actual rule in writing a love letter. anything sweet, sincere, caring, thoughtful or even fun will do. be creative.

, by Unknown

fun things to do to keep the relationship alive

kie says:

There will be times when the relationship seems stagnating, or dry, everything is the usual, nothing new. Your partner might be feeling the same too, and is also waiting for you to make your superhero(ine) moves. This is the time when you should be doing something. Be the ignition to keep the flame burning. He is sure to return the effort (hopefully).

t says:

To make the relationship work, there is work to done. After all the hunting and playing "hard-to-get" during courtship and in engagement, all the thrill and romantic excitement may fade after the sweet "yes." Relationship is just like maintaining a garden. No matter how beautiful it gets, you still have to take care of the garden. So is true with your relationships.

we say:

you don't have to look so far for ideas, or go and empty out your bank accounts.

we have listed a few stuffs to keep the ball rolling.

1. travel! go out, get out. if plans and itineraries don't work, be spontaneous and adventurous. it doesn't have to be out of the country, you may actually explore the areas around you, maybe go to a park or a zoo. it doesn't have to be prim and proper, you just have to have fun!

2. write random post its and place in strategic areas - on the mirror, when he/she opens the laptop, inside a wallet or anywhere that will surprise your partner.

3. write love letters - doesn't have to be very formal. Be creative. Long love letters can be very sweet.

4. bring him/her something not the usual - a flower you picked up somewhere, a tissue from a restuarant with a love note on it, anything not the usual

5. go out on a date on a weekday

6. have a picnic or fly a kite

7. go stargazing in the rooftop

8. play a board or card game with a twist, like the loser gets a powder stripe in the face - this is really fun!

9. take a lot of selfies or record a video together - like dancing or singing together.

10. open your memory box together. I'm pretty sure almost all of us have memory boxes that contain our previous love letters, gifts and all. It's really fun reliving the good feeling of being in love.

and many more...

You see, love is meant to be fun and amazing. And to keep the relationship alive, keep the fire of love burning.

, by Unknown

3 secrets to a great relationship

, by Teof

a relationship tool: evaluation

, by Teof

the one thing you shouldn't ask couples

, by Unknown

i want my first to be my last

, by Teof

financial management for couples

, by Teof

love language: quality time

, by Unknown

love language: receiving gifts

, by Unknown

love

love language: physical touch

, by Teof

love language: acts of service

, by Unknown

love language: words of affirmation

, by Teof

a relationship tool: B.A.G.

, by Unknown

a compilation of sweet nothings

, by Teof

why you'll never really end up with your ideal partner

, by Teof

understanding the power of appreciation

, by Teof

follow us on Bloglovin

, by Teof

the best time to say: sorry

Kie says:

I admit it. "Sorry" does not easily from me. I grew up where sorry is not usually spoken of and forgiveness only comes with time. But it is never that I am okay with not being told I'm sorry, I appreciate it. You just can't really expect much of that word from me, aside from the habitual response when I accidentally step into the shoe (or toes) of a fellow passenger in a cramped jeepney or when I bump into someone 'cause my mind was far off wandering somewhere.

T says:

Saying “Sorry” has always been in our roots since childhood. Every after our jabbing session with my brother, our mom would always let us hug and say sorry with each other. And you know what, after that we are again close as glue.

Kie says:

The thing that hindered me from saying sorry, aside from the fact that it is not the word I grew up with, is my silly pride. Most of the time, I believe I am right or I am victim, whichever is applicable. Saying sorry even when things are not settled yet, or it has not been resolved yet what the crime is or who the suspect is, is something I learned from my husband. I'm getting the hang of it. Congratulations, self.

T says:

I don’t know if you find that unusual, but as I said before, I’m not your typically guy. Whether it is my fault or not, I start a conversation by saying “I’m sorry”. Though here comes the tricky part: after saying I’m sorry, my wife usually would then deal with the details to why I am sorry, what I have done wrong, and/or when do I think I have disappointed her. That is why it is very important to know how to dialogue the right way.

Related Content: How to dialogue the right way.

Kie says:

Saying or hearing sorry calms the heart. For me, it is like a signal that the other one is eager to talk and settle things out. It is a signal that he or she is sincere. I particularly appreciate my husband when he says sorry for some things even if I know it's my fault. It makes me guilty. And in a positive way, it makes me say "I'm sorry" too. And if I was crying the moment he says sorry or if I was done with my crying episode, expect me to burst once again, this time, with my heart calm and open.

T says:

That is one secret I should give you guys: say sorry first regardless whose fault it is. It calms the heart, and your partner is now open to hear your part. Though this is kind of tricky based on my experience, there will be times when you say sorry and your partner may not be willing to accept it. Don’t force it, it may end up you being angry and the result will not be good. Just ask her “Do you want to talk about it?” If she’d say no, then let her cool down first. Then come back, open it up again, and never let the day end without settling things down.

We say:

Saying "sorry" is one of the things couples should habitually say to each other, aside from "I love you" and "Thank you".Saying sorry does not mean you are wrong. It simply opens you both to a dialogue so you can begin processing the issue. It opens up your feelings. It calms the sad or anger of the other person.

If your partner isn't likely himself or herself, do not hesitate to ask what's wrong. It may be something you said or did, or something you didn't.

Did you do something today that you think you should be sorry for? Don't think twice, say sorry. And mean it.

TnK tip: peace offerings such as chocolates and flowers can also speed up the process.

, by Unknown